Thursday, August 07, 2008

Twitter Jitter, the next medical emergency

Twitter jitter.... Uh oh,, the next carpal tunnel syndrome scare.

Recently a friend of mine tweeted that he was suffering from twitter jitter. Unfortunately, since Twitter only allows 140 characters, he could not elaborate. I responded, twitter of course, with friendly concern, but no more tweetails (details) were forthcoming. So, that left me to wonder the worst. Twitter jitter, could it be:

a) physical withdrawal from twitter. Similar to the irregular random movements of the body indicating addiction or the shakes. This kind of jitter could be the worst because uncontrollable body shakes would make it impossible to tweet via mobile or pc. Qwerty keyboards are not built for people with the jitters. Going cold turkey where twitter is concerned is asking for trouble.

b) visual withdrawal concerning twitter. This type of jitter indicates an inability to view anything. Everything appears to be moving in the fashion of an old circa 1950s tv. Also classified by the irregular random movement of a crt or lcd screen image. Now, it was Friday evening at 6 pm when I saw this tweet from my friend, so it is possible that liquid libations may have contributed to the twitter jitter.

c) a sense of panic or extreme nervousness. This could be due to the constant fail whale of twitter. Or it could be due to a constantly shifting cell phone signal making it hard to receive and transmit tweets. Or it could just be due to an attempt to try to reduce my thoughts to 140 characters. That would make anyone nervous and anxious. Watching that character countdown to 0 is worse than waiting on the doctor to read my test results while I am sitting there watching him shake his head while reading.

While I don't want to pre-dispose you to a choice, my favorite is #3. Being a twitter user, I have found a great sense of nervousness occurs waiting for that next tweet from a virtual friend. When the dead silence of twitter indicates no activity, how can that be possible?!!! I mean how can none of my friends be doing anything worth tweeting?!

Regardless of which definition explains my friend's twitter jitter, none of these conditions sounds good. Sounds like another medical emergency is on the horizon, and it's name is twitter jitter. Yikes, we r n gr8 trubl.

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